Month: January 2019

In a previous version of myself, this week would have tanked me. Actually, to be more specific, a single announcement would have tanked me within the space of the five seconds that it took me to read the headline. In that instant what was crushed was our (as in belonging to both Shannon and I) vision of our perfect future. We have been cultivating this vision and working toward it for years now. What’s more, the Universe has been seemingly supporting us in both big and small ways all along the way. A little less than six months ago the big break that would move us into our next phase of being in the world was presented to us. At least that’s how it seemed. Other possibilities have also been presented, but well… this was the one.

Everything was falling into alignment. Everything. Every aspect of our being would be placed into perfect play, perfectly balancing work and life while enabling us to fully live into each of our own unique gifts to the world. As you all know by now, this involves charting a viable path forward for humanity in the face of our social-ecological challenges. Then, suddenly… whoosh! The Universe yanked the magic carpet out from under us and sent us tumbling to the ground. We each went to our separate corners to process. My first thought raged forward. It went something like this:

“What in the f*ing hell, Universe?! Are you serious?? You want us to all f*ing die, don’t you??? There are amazing people all over the planet trying to turn this thing around, and you are choosing to not support us???? For real?!!! Really? This is what you are doing? F* you.”

Just to be clear, it wasn’t just us who were effected by this announcement. In fact, this turn of events is devastating to the thousands of people who study, work, support and are part of the local economy of our country’s best college with a mission and curriculum focused on sustainability. Green Mountain College is closing after 185 years. At a time when our country in particular needs to get its act together, we are instead letting what I view as one of our greatest treasures die. We are saying no to the leading edge in sustainability education. We should all be crying right about now.

As you also may have discerned by now, my emotional reaction on the surface was not nearly as intense as the way I just portrayed it. In fact, if you had been watching me in that particular moment, you would not have even know that anything had just happened. This process of writing about it helps me to allow the real emotion of it rise to the surface after the fact. Better late than never! Although hidden, the emotional intensity of it was all of that, at least for a few minutes. Then the next thought came:

“When I look back at my life, I can see without a doubt that the Universe has perfectly supported my every move. How could I conclude that it is not supporting me now?”

Truly I have had the most amazing life thus far. Just in the past twelve years, Shannon and I have been on a mind-blowing adventure in which we have done crazy things that I might never have thought possible. We designed-built the first project in Texas designed to meet the Living Building Challenge. I can’t even begin to describe how far beyond the reach of ordinary reality that was. We built Tiny Drop according to Passive House principles, showcased it to thousands of people, and hauled it to Vermont to its forever home- our 40 acres of paradise in the Green Mountains, which in and of itself came to us via a head scratching turn of events. We have through our teaching efforts at PVAMU won the Grand Award in the DOE Race to Zero Competition not just once, but twice, and now our latest design for net-zero, affordable infill housing is racing toward manifestation. None of this would have happened without the alignment of immeasurable factors, in other words without considerable assistance from forces greater than ourselves. Then came my next thought:

“If the Universe has withdrawn support for my perfect version of the future, maybe it wasn’t the perfect future after all.”

“If that wasn’t the perfect future, then I surely cannot even begin to imagine what will be!”

Now for the unpacking (not literally, of course). The first thing that I have to say is I am hereby banning a phrase from the English language. I know, I know… this is extreme, but really it must be done. Let us never again utter the words “too good to be true.” Henceforth, every time these words might occur to us, let us instead say “not good enough to be true.” Your dream job didn’t come to fruition… it wasn’t a good enough job for you. Your dream relationship didn’t come to fruition… it wasn’t a good enough match for you. Your dream house didn’t pan out… it wasn’t a good enough home for you. You get the picture. This takes a ton of trust. Believe me, I get it.

Yet by moving into a place of trust that the Universe is conspiring to support us, we open up the door to wonder. Have I mentioned that it’s funny how life works? On this particular day, my lesson from A Course in Miracles was to in essence not rely on my own limited perception of what is what, and to instead invite the unlimited vision of the Universe (God for the religious, Christ for the Christian, Consciousness for the spiritual, the absolute for the agnostic, the field for the scientific, etc.) to show me what is what. We most commonly hear this expressed this way: all is not what it seems. That was a powerful juxtaposition, a perfectly designed lesson.

Then there was the text that came in minutes later from one of my former students, who I affectionately call “Mini Me.” She is not about to let us off of the hook. She insists that this is the green light for us to create that something that will be even better. She says, “That program is one that I feel is desperately needed in this country. I was excited for what it was but there’s so much more that it could have been… It could be that this is happening so that the right people now have the opening to bring it. I think you are part of that group.” No pressure or anything. But that’s o.k., because I am hereby including her in this group too, so there! (I know you are reading this, Mini Me 😉 )

Another tool that I am experimenting with right now is called The Wonder Method, by Alain and Jody Herriott. I’m just getting started with it, so I can’t really comment on it yet. That said, I love the way that they succinctly describe the state of wonder:

“Wonder is like a ‘?.’ Interestingly, the Japanese symbol for wonder is a question mark. The act of using wonder is like pushing a reset switch: it gives us access to a state of potential where anything is possible.“

Perhaps you have heard this expressed in this way: live the question. Wonder describes a state of being in which we remove our constrictions on reality. We stop being so dang certain. We normally equate certainty as being aware of the truth. Yet this is a slippery slope, because by its very nature to be certain is to have eliminated the majority of reality and of what is possible and to have replaced it with only one version of reality and of what is possible. On the other hand, to be deeply certain- of your next move for example- is to tap into the full extent of possibility through your intuition. To know the difference is more art than science. Our culture tends to dismiss intuition or knowingness with rational decision making. I’ll leave this for you to contemplate.

All I can tell you is that wonder feels a whole lot better than having it all figured out. Wonder leaves the door open for a new reality that is beyond our wildest imaginations. We are going to need a reality such as that. So bring on the wonder.

This word has been the center of my gravity for well over a year now. It is the state of being that I most respect. It is the state of being that I most desire. And it keeps calling to me. Sometimes I answer, “I am coming.” Other times, it just feels like a million miles away. You see I came out swinging, due to my bumpy entry into the world as I talked about in my post “The Gift.” Not that I think most people would describe me as a particularly belligerent type- I am more of the quiet, even-keeled type. My mother, furthermore, trained me well to be deeply understanding of others. Nevertheless, I do think that it generally comes across that I’m not somebody that you want to cross. This is to say that you can feel my edges if you just pay the slightest bit of attention. Anyone who has actually dared to cross said edges would testify that, no, no in fact you really don’t want to go there.

The people who I admire most in the world are the gentle ones. Our culture, by contrast, tends to favor the strong, the bold, the unyielding, the uncompromising, the headstrong. “Well there’s lambs and there’s lions,” to quote a song by Chase Rice for all of you country music fans out there. When the title of this album (Lambs & Lions) and the aforementioned lyrics to the song “Lions” came across my radar this week, my immediate reaction was… lambs. I’ll go with the lambs. The song, of course, celebrates the lions. But don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean to dis on the lions. As mentioned, I am such a beast and I am not about hating on myself. That would be very unlamblike of me, which wouldn’t help my cause.

Of course the metaphor way oversimplifies the situation. In biblical terms, the lamb is that which is sacrificed and the lion is that which rises above, but the reality is… no lamb, no lion. You see if the story were that Jesus had fought back and prevailed against his persecutors to escape crucifixion in typical lion-like fashion then that would have been just, well, more of the same in a long line of despots. But as the story goes, the strength of the lion actually emerges from the gentleness of the lamb. They are two sides of the same coin, which is to say that this is one of those paradoxical both/and situations. And this is why the meek shall inherit the earth. You can, incidentally, find the essence of this story in every religion and wisdom tradition. What it boils down to is, love wins. Love wins because true power can only ever come from love and never from fear.

But that sure doesn’t seem to be the way the world works, does it? Yesterday the great Dr. Cornel West spoke at Prairie View A&M University, where Shannon and I work. Due to some physical challenges we both had this week, we made the call to be gentle with ourselves and not go in spite of the huge disappointment of that. I bring this up just to take a moment to say that step one in becoming gentle is to first be gentle with yourself… which is not something that I am traditionally well-versed in. Fortunately, it was live-streamed so we got to watch from the comfort of our couch. Although it would have been something to be there in person to feel the energy of full-on Brother West addressing his people, we were grateful for the opportunity to watch from the couch.

If you ever get the opportunity to see Dr. West speak, do it. I am so incredibly fortunate to have had the opportunity to take his class at Princeton. Hearing him speak reminds me that he has played a role in shaping me. So much of what he had to say to our students is reflected in what I teach now too. In fact one of my students texted me afterward to say that she thought of me when he said “you’re an extension of me and I’m an extension of you.” Yes, he spoke of interbeing, not that he used the word. If you are not at all familiar with Dr. West, what you will quickly find out is that he is a lion. He too came out swinging. He knows this about himself. But he is that particular type of lion that is driven by lambhood. He is what he calls on all of us to be- a love warrior. In other words… a lamb-lion.

If you asked me to choose one living person who is most exemplary of the Christian faith, Dr. West would be my hands down choice. As I was saying, it sure doesn’t seem like love wins in our world. It sure as heck doesn’t seem that way in the face of oppression, be it overt or covert. So we learn to fight for our survival. Those of us who are successful in our culture have become what Dr. West correctly labels “well adjusted to an unethical mode of being.” Cuts like a knife, doesn’t it?

Yet he isn’t telling us this because he hates us, he is telling us this because he loves us deeply. He tells us to remind us that we are more than we have accepted ourselves to be. And in the same vein as the great Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., he would remind us that we can’t fight fire with fire. Well, we can, but so long as we do so we will end up with nothing more than despots. We have tried to overcome unchecked lionhood with more unchecked lionhood for the entirety of human history now. If we want to inherit the earth, by which in practical terms I mean simply survive ourselves for starters, we must invoke the lamb to realize true lionhood. We must evolve to lamb-lionhood.

So bring on the gentle. As I delve deeper and deeper into my inner layers, the inner child that I am meeting is oh-so-gentle. She is tender. She is vulnerable. She is sweet. She cares immensely. She is full of grace and understanding. She doesn’t come out swinging. She instead stands quietly in stillness. She gives space for a world that at once she doesn’t understand, and yet she feels for. She yearns for its freedom. She loves it immensely, even as it cuts her deeply. She is standing there waiting with open arms and an open heart. This child is in you too. She is our common heritage. She is our humanity. Long live the lambs. 

I say this only because we are so out of balance. I am so out of balance. I’ve got the lion gig down. So many of us do, and we trample our own and other’s inner lambs in the process. This gives rise to and reinforces all that is unethical in our world. To correct this, I/we must take the time and effort to recalibrate to our inner lamb. This is the inner work that I described in my post “Whatever.” As I stated in the beginning of this post, gentleness is the center of gravity of this work. What helps me to stay on the path is the strong pull toward a gentle state of being.

It helps to have role models. For my fellow Houstonians in sustainability world, I will give you my example- Pat Greer. Pat is the epitome of gentle, a true lamb whose being exudes love. No one will disagree. And true to course, perhaps by now you will not be surprised when I tell you that she is fierce. She is a lion beyond measure who has paved the way for our evolution in more ways than we can count. I bring Pat to mind fairly often these days as a way to resonate with her being. Having a Pat helps. These are the elders of our world. Such elders demonstrate our profound safety. They demonstrate that it is o.k. to lower your dukes. Look for these people in your life and abide there. Be gentle.

I once wrote a three page guide on the secret of mastering goaltending. I have coached a lot of goalies in my life, having given out bits and pieces of insights along the way, but the guide in its totality was written for one goalie in particular who I felt was ready to absorb it. She treasures it to this day. In fact she just texted me as she was cleaning out her file cabinet to tell me that her copy, which looks pristine, would always remain with her. It’s funny how life works, as I’ve mentioned. Before she sent this text, I was planning to reread this little guide myself in prep for this week’s post.

My reason for revisiting it is because said goalie, who is now a dear friend if not part of the family, asked (or should I say challenged) me weeks ago to write a similar guide on the art of making friends. First off, let me just say that if this isn’t a case of the blind leading the blind, I don’t know what is! Understand that this is one pure introvert asking another pure introvert how to connect with other people. As if! So this request has been swirling around in the back of my head and I decided it was time to start moving it forward. Having reread my secret guide on goaltending (it is indeed secret because she and I are the only two who have a copy), what I am realizing is that writing such a guide would in fact be the guide for this thing that I am calling interbeing. Here’s the bad news… I am not ready to write that yet.

But here’s the good news! I am ready to start thinking through that out loud and I am thinking that this might be quite comical. This is definitely going to be from an introverted perspective, however I do think it might also prove useful to you non-introverted types. Let’s face it, making friends in our adult lives is not the easiest thing to do in our hustle, bustle culture. So without further ado, here are the observations I can offer on friendship based on whatever experience I may have:

1. When that person who grew up around the corner from you when you were little, you know the one you were pretty much inseparable from in the summer in your early years; who also happened to be one of your early gymnastics teammates; the one who you went to school with from elementary through high school; the one who became popular early on while you became, well, sort of geeky; the one who nevertheless you were still involved in a lot of activities at school with even though, let’s face it, you had no social life outside of school because you were, um, geeky; the one who not surprisingly headed to the west coast when you headed to the east coast for college and you were like, well, I hope she has a great life because no doubt we will never cross paths again; yeah, that one. When sometime in your mid to late 40’s she should send you a FB friend request and you are like, oh hell no, I have a policy of no high school friends other than my best friend because, let’s be real, what would my grown-up, gay, liberal self have in common with my white, upper middle class high school friends from Texas? When that request comes in… say yes. Much to your surprise, you have a worldview in common. And even more than that, you’re pretty sure she has grown up to become one of the most insightful, wise, and loving people on the planet. And what’s really cool is that you’ve known each other since the beginning of time. There is something super special about that.
2. When your best friend from middle school through high school, you know the one who you created your own little bubble with from whence you made snarky observations about the trials and tribulations of teenage drama, only to then lose that connection when you went your separate ways for college. When she sends you a FB request in your late 30’s ish, and you are like, hmmm… this is a tough one because when I begrudgingly joined FB it was with a hard and fast rule that I would not friend anyone prior to college. When that request comes in… say, yes. Say yes even though saying yes will lead to the scenario mentioned above, and then everybody else ultimately finding you too. Of course proceed to give her hell that it is all her fault for opening a can of worms that has exposed you to everybody, even though you are secretly grateful for it. She’ll understand because she always understood that it was kind of her role to draw you out. So when said friend texts you two hours before your 30th high school reunion and spontaneously wants to go even though neither of you has been to any high school reunion, and you are like, oh hell no…. say yes. And then proceed to make your wife go with you, because what could be more fun than showing up with your wife? (She was a good sport.) And while you are there, give people a chance. Some of it will seem as you expected, but there will be moments that surprise you. Notice those. And then at least consider following up with those people.
3. Let people grow up. While this obviously applies to people who are of your own age as highlighted above, what I want to talk about specifically here is allowing people who you once had some form of authoritative relationship with (parent/child, teacher/student, coach/player, etc.) grow up. They do. My M.O. has been to give it some time- a few years maybe- for them to establish their own footing without me. Then I will, ultimately, re-establish the relationship on equal footing. Adulthood is long. Many of my closest friends are not of my generation, both up and down. Said goalie who has brought you this post is just such a case.
4. When you sign up for a conference with the specific goal of making new connections with people who share your interests, notice the woman who turns around to talk to you about your presentation later in the day. When this woman just happens to be making her way to the hotel lobby to go to the conference dinner and asks you if you want to share a cab with her and another woman you met earlier in the day…. say yes. Say yes even though you were planning to brave the Barcelona metro by yourself for the first time, because we both know that you procrastinated in your room a little too long dreading having to go to this thing and be social even though that was your whole reason for being there! Say yes because even though you now have to talk to two people you barely know all the way across town, you now don’t have to show up to the dinner by yourself and face that awkward moment of figuring out what table to sit at. While you are in the taxi, be sincerely open and engaged in the conversation. Show up openly and authentically. Be curious about who these two women are. They just happen to be really, really cool people. You just won the lottery. This doesn’t happen often in life (although maybe it could…), but you may well have just picked up not only steadfast companions for the rest of the conference, but also potentially for the rest of your life. Establish communication when you get home and make a concerted effort to stay in touch.
5. Don’t believe the hype about not making friends with your coworkers. Go ahead… befriend them. That person that you walked with to Starbucks every day (o.k., twice a day) will remain your friend even after you both move on. That gay boy who was out with you will remain your friend even after you both move on. Heck, even your old boss may become and remain one of your close friends. True stories.
6. When your best friend, or teammate, or any friend from college calls and asks for your help in a crisis moment (or maybe doesn’t call but you know he/she is in a crisis moment), even though you may not have a ton of money or time or wherewithal or whatever…. say yes. Drop whatever you are doing and then take planes, trains, and automobiles to get to them. These special people came of age with you and therefore know you in a way that people from other times of your life do not. They are irreplaceable. Even if you don’t talk all the time or see each other every year, make sure you have a finger on the pulse. Go to your major reunions. Hell, if they weren’t in your class, go to their major reunions. Keep them close.
7. When a seemingly bat-shit crazy extrovert from hell woman busts into your house, traipses through your bedroom to your private study where you are minding your own beeswax just trying to get some work done (well let’s be honest- basically hiding from the parent of one of your kid’s friends because it wasn’t so safe being out at that time), and then sticks her hand out and asks if you are the partner, even though this is one of those complete deer in headlight moments… say yes. This crazy extrovert from hell is going to be your best friend for the next twenty years and beyond. You are going to see each other through it all. You are going to hold each other accountable. You are going to help each other to be more of who you are in the world. As scary as it may be, let her in.
8. Last, and most importantly, know that however somebody came to be your friend, he/she is precious beyond words. Take care of these relationships like they are the most valuable thing in your life. They are. As you can see from the above, making friends is only half of the trick. Keeping them is the harder part. We are all challenged on this front for innumerous reasons. The easy part is to simply make it a priority. Did I say this was easy??? It’s not so easy given the pressures of our everyday lives. Do it anyway. The hard part is to hold on when the going gets tough, as it will for anybody who makes it into your inner circle where our shadows hide. When this happens, care enough to examine your own shadows and do the work to bring it to the light. This is the most sacred work of friendship. Without the reflection that our closest relationships offer us, our shadows easily remain in hiding and run the show from behind the scenes. So next time you find yourself triggered, take some space to be grateful for the person who helped bring your shadow to the surface. With any sort of hope, he/she will be doing the same.

I am fortunate that I have many more stories than the ones I have shared here. To all of my friends out there, maybe I haven’t told you or told you lately, but I am forever grateful for your presence in my life. To all of my future friends, I am looking forward to meeting you. Even though I’ll likely have some harebrained, reflexive reason for saying no… I’ll do my best to remember to say yes!

This is going to be a round about story about the newest addition to our extended family, Sophie. She was our Christmas present to our nephew. But before I get to all of that, because of course I am sharing it because it speaks something about my own journey, first a little about my journey. That’s right, you have to read to the end to get the cute puppy story!

But before I get to to my journey even, I have a little gift for you all. This is a link to a free screening of a documentary on the Gaia channel called E-Motion. The link will be good for only 24 hours. If you have some downtime today it is worth your time. If you miss this window, then you can watch it with a trial membership of the channel for only 99 cents.

https://give.gaia.com/cjql358lt00gi01o9auct8x4z

The documentary is about how negative emotions get trapped in our physical beings and is then manifest in other ways including physical illness. A handful of practitioners working through different modalities give tips on how to release negative emotions from the subconscious and physical body. The end game is to manifest from love rather than fear, which opens us up into an expansive state of being. If you are already working toward this end, this may be a good reminder with some new tools which you may find helpful. If this is new to you, I encourage you to just make some space for considering it. Maybe try out some of the tools and see for yourself. Always come to your own conclusion.

Personally, several of the tools resonated with me (as they also did with my wife Shannon and my sister-in-law Amy). I’m going to talk about just one simple tool today, which has to do with bringing fear to consciousness. The tool is a simple statement:

“If I were not afraid, I would ________________________________.”

Fill in the blank. You might recognize this as an alternative form of the question “What would I do if I knew I could not fail?” I like this statement form better for one main reason. It puts the main issue front and center- fear. Whatever it is that we would do if we knew we could not fail, we are not doing precisely because we are afraid. Let’s name the culprit. Failure isn’t the problem. Fear is. Failure is a perfectly o.k. and positive role player in the pursuit of our expansiveness. How about we stop dodging it? How about we just confront our fears head on? That is what this open ended statement is asking us to do.

So when I contemplated filling in the blank this week, I at first found myself, well… blank. Now I have a lot of explaining to do! I was seriously blank for a few minutes. When I searched my surface life for how fear is holding me back, I didn’t find much. But I need to tell you that I by no means came to this seemingly fearless moment easily. This moment has been a good fifteen years in the making. During that time, I have pushed through fears that no longer dominate me.

It started fifteen years ago with the realization that my relationship with my first partner was not serving either one of us. This was a stark realization in the midst of a worldview that told me that this was my one partner, for life. If suddenly my worldview was incorrect, then what would stop the entire world from turning upside down? If I left, what would happen to my kids? What would happen to my partner? What would happen to me? That’s the order of importance that I processed that decision with. Incidentally, that is probably why it took me three years to ultimately face my fear. The only thing that saved me from my fear was the realization that if I truly cared about what would happen to my kids, then I needed to model for them what I would want them to do if they ever found themselves in a similar situation. I left.

That made it all sound a little too easy. It wasn’t. It was excruciating. But we all got through it. Not without scars, mind you, but at least it opened up the opportunity for each one of us to face our fears and better live into our true Selves. I could be wrong, but I think that facing that fear will remain the hardest one I will ever face in this lifetime. This is in part because the first time tends to be the hardest. It gets easier.

Flash forward five years and I found myself at the same job that I had been at since grad school. Fifteen years into the same job I was comfortable, secure. I had long since stopped having to prove myself. I had autonomy. I had respect. I got to pursue my own interests. I was well paid. I was on the verge of being made a partner for crying out loud! And yet… it was too easy. That’s just a nice way of saying that my job was smaller than what I was vocationally being called to. It wasn’t anybody’s fault. It wasn’t the fault of the firm. It wasn’t my fault. It was just the reality seeping up from the murmurings of my soul. What was more was that my soul was implying that working for any firm was going to be too small for me. Nothing less than starting my own would do.

As hard as leaving my first partner was, I would be lying to you if I told you that facing my fear of leaving a secure job was suddenly a piece of cake. It wasn’t. This fear tapped deeply into my survival instincts. How would I support myself? How would I support my new partner (now my wife)? We could lose the house, the car, the shirts off of our backs! We might starve!! But what I will tell you is that if I hadn’t already faced the fear of leaving my first partner, then I would likely not have had enough gumption to face leaving my job. I now saw the fear clearly for what it was, and that enabled me to dialogue with it. I got myself through it by journaling on a daily basis. The journaling revealed a fierce internal battle that ultimately kept my ego in check. It didn’t make the fear go away, but it did keep me moving forward. I left.

And you know what? The Universe has supported my every step since. Not only have we not lost the house, but we have gained two more beautiful, soul-healing homes in Vermont! That’s a story in itself which I’ll leave for another time. For now, suffice it to say that not only in starting my own firm, but also in just being open to any opportunity that might prove a vehicle for my soul’s purpose, I can unequivocally say that for the past seven years I have been doing exactly what I am meant to be doing in the world. I do not want to understate the openness part of this equation. That is what ultimately led me back into academia, such that I now have not only one, but two vocational vehicles to offer my unique gifts to the world. And I in no way feel stuck. New opportunities are right around the corner and I have no problem, no fear, in making space for them.

So that was my knee jerk reaction as I attempted to fill in the blank. Fear? What fear?! Yet I know better than that too. I just need to look deeper now. It’s there. And it has been nagging at me just the same. I am standing at the walls of my fortress with that old familiar feeling… this place is too small for me. That’s what this whole blog is about, right? In many ways it is akin to the intense journaling that helped me leave my job. Now I just have to do that journaling publicly. Yikes. But again, having faced those more outward manifestations of my fear has prepared me well for this moment. That is how the world serves as our friend. It gives us a way in by first making it apparent on the apparent outside. Start with whatever it reflects back to you, whatever fear it invokes in you. Face it.

This is how I ended up filling in the blank: “If I were not afraid, I would give love freely.” Or alternatively, “If I were not afraid, I would take down my walls.” Outwardly it might look like this, “If I were not afraid, I would cry unabashedly and uncontrollably out loud to another human being.” Or to the point, “If I were not afraid, I would not perceive myself as a separate being that needs to be defended in the first place.” So this is the fear that I now face.

I didn’t even see what Shannon was yelling at me to stop for. Of course I knew it was an animal of some sort. I dutifully pulled over. Shannon hopped out not knowing if she would be able to get the dog to trust her. No sooner had she stepped out of the car and Sophie, a Boxer puppy, was jumping on her. But only momentarily. She saw the open car door behind Shannon and immediately jumped in to the front passenger seat. Well that was that. Sophie, with zero hesitation whatsoever, had decided she was at home with us (no owner was to be found). Actually, I think it is more accurate to say that she never even considered that we were in any way separate beings in the first place. No separation, no fear. Also… zero sense of personal space! Sophie has no qualms with just plopping herself down on you regardless of where you are or what you are doing. Sitting, sleeping, standing, walking- doesn’t matter. Sophie wants to be physically connected. Get annoyed and admonish her- doesn’t matter. She keeps right on as if you are being silly in your desire for separation. That’s just the way she sees it. Be like Sophie. Metaphorically speaking anyway. A healthy dash of respect for personal space is in order!

Last thought for the day. If you need a dose of courage or just a big, huge smile on your face, go see Mary Poppins Returns. I’ll leave you with this:

“After all, you can’t lose what you never lost.” – Mary Poppins