Tis the season, no? I certainly feel that way. I have this sense of old patterns being released, opening the door for new possibilities. Pure potential is limitless. Anything can happen. Rebirth feels like that. It’s a blank page on which any story can be written. Rebirth is embedded in life. It’s in every major life transition- change of job, home, partner, social circle, etc. It’s in the midlife crisis. It’s in the realization of a new potential. It’s in the introduction to a new perspective. It’s in a new understanding. As I close this chapter of my life, I find myself staring at a blank page and I feel free. My experience is one of, wait a minute, I am bigger than all of this that I am leaving behind. There is so much more to me. There is more to discover, explore, and throw out into the world just to see what bites. These little rebirths help us to know that things are not set in stone so much as we tend to think they are. Rebirth is the upside of change.
Of course, that implies that there is a downside to change. We call that death. Death is also embedded in life. It’s in every little loss that precedes the rebirth- the loss of your former job, former home, former partner, former social circle, former life as you knew it, former ideas about reality. I’m feeling all of that loss too. I’m not gonna lie- I’m an emotional roller coaster right now. Yet there is something so alive about being in the threshold between old and new. The intensity of the feelings on both sides of the coin are the gift of life itself. In so many ways, just to experience that is what we are here for.
Actually, death is what makes life as we know it possible. In order for life to work, it has to keep moving. Life by definition is constantly metabolizing, which is to say taking in the stuff of life (nutrients, air, water, light, heat, energy, ideas, etc.), chewing it up, incorporating it as it sees fit into itself, and giving the rest back in a form we call death (which in reality is just another name for birth). We are each a pattern of life that persists in spite of these continual interchanges. Every so often, we shift our pattern just enough to feel a rebirth. Then when we are completely done with the pattern that we chose, we give it all back. Emily Levine gave one of the best explanations that I have heard of this before she died, and in part because she is so dang funny. This is worth your time:
In large part I agree with Emily’s worldview. I certainly agree with her grace, gratitude, and sheer awe regarding the cycle of life. I also agree with her willingness to let go and give herself up to the larger forces of life, to what I would call the collective All That Is. I think we cling to self too tightly. That is what this blog is all about, after all. Where I might differ, and I don’t know because she doesn’t address this directly in this TED Talk, is that I also believe that life is fundamentally formed by Consciousness. In other words, I believe that Consciousness exists a priori matter. That is to say that matter (the material world) emerges out of Consciousness- it is a conscious decision. The alternative view is that consciousness only arises out of matter. In this worldview, your consciousness (what you identify as you) only arises out of the pattern of matter (your body) that supports you. When the latter disperses, the former goes too. I would therefore argue that determining which is a priori – matter or consciousness- is the most fundamental choice we each have to make as we try to determine what reality is. Incidentally, neither side has been proven to date. It is therefore up to each of us to decide what we believe, and therefore what is possible.
In quantum terms, I would say that the particle (matter) is a focused manifestation of the wave (energy, the field, pure potential). The thing that does the focusing (manifesting) is Consciousness. What that means to me is that when we are done manifesting a particular pattern of self, we return to the field of pure Consciousness and release the stuff of life for another aspect of Consciousness to do what it will with it. Once there we are both drop (Self/soul) and ocean (God). It may be impossible to establish where Self ends and the rest begins, but we are there nonetheless and we are free to do it (manifest some pattern of self) all over again. I would further argue that we are both drop and ocean all along even though our focusing into a pattern of matter hides that reality from us. All of this is to say that I believe that we are eternal.
Hey…. isn’t that what that Jesus fellow taught? Isn’t that what he demonstrated? Isn’t that what his resurrection was all about? Is it such a stretch to imagine that this sort of adventure is not only available to all of us, but that it is THE Adventure. Incidentally, and for the record, I believe that Jesus was God and that he is therefore eternal. Where I differ from Christianity as it is commonly taught these days is that I happen to believe that you too are God (Consciousness in my worldview). I believe that you are equal to Jesus in every sense. In a nutshell, I believe that there is nothing but God (Consciousness). The only reason that nobody I know can walk on water is that we simply don’t realize who we truly are. Warning: you can try to fake it until you make it, but I’m guessing you might get wet. Just sayin. Jesus knew who he was beyond all shadow of a doubt. He demonstrated to us not just who he is, but who we all are. I believe that he wants us to know and experience our eternal nature for ourselves. But that’s just me. We each have to decide for ourselves. There is no other way to get there than through our own experience… even if we choose to follow a well tread path (which is perfectly fine). So on this Easter weekend what I say to all is: Happy Trails!
I’m so glad that I never truly have to say goodbye to you – you’re so stuck with me.
Pittman McGehee, my Jungian Analyst, summed up what you were saying with this quote::
“ What keeps us alive the first half of life, keeps us from living the second half. “
Your engagement with your new possibilities, and the emotional roller coaster that is making you feel so alive – is to know that Jesus is the Eternal, As we all are- If we could just open our eyes and heart to it. As James Hollis suggests in The Middle Passage: from Chaos to Meaning”—We all are being called into the death/birth circular invitation into the fullness of life! You went from Your parent’s daughter to student, gymnnist, To cheerleader, To hockey player (Still carries the most points protected at Princeton as a goalie to this day)— To architect, to hockey coach, to a professional environmentalist, To university professor- And all the while being a Spiritual Teacher to all of us that have had the joy and sorrow 😳🙃of being in your sphere for the lessons the Universe sent you to give us (Those of you who know Shelly well- know exactly what I’m talking about.)… for all of us earthlings — We thank you for the Christ essence that lives thru you❤️❤️😘
Thank you, Micki. I love you and I know I’m stuck with you! And… I practically (giggle) hold the record for the lowest goals against average in a season at Princeton… my record was broken two years ago! Well so I did hold that record for 27 years, so practically it is! 😉
I love everything that is “practically” in life.!! The way I love you, tho, has nothing practically about it.
Shelly, I love this post, it follows so much of the Gestalt Foundation that I work from and will soon be a Faculty member of! Awareness, What is beautifully and fully well developed that it opens possibilities for what is less developed, raising consciousness, making meaning of our lives, what is to what is possible, letting go of the outcome. I love that you are grieving the losses and changes, as it opens up your heart to new possibilities. Your amazing journey in life is only getting “fatter”. Hugs.