Guns

Since I am still news-fasting, I didn’t hear about El Paso until later Saturday evening after I posted my last blog. Somehow that news snuck through my social media, in spite of my best efforts to weed news out of it. It’s interesting how news comes to you when you’ve cut off all of your usual sources. I didn’t hear about Dayton until late Sunday afternoon. That news was delivered to me by my friend and colleague, Mary, who I had scheduled a phone call with because we had a few things to go over in addition to just getting caught up. When I asked her how she was doing, she said, “Well, I’m o.k…. it’s been a bit crazy with all of the events of the day.” I had to think for a second, but then said, “oh, you mean El Paso?” Then she realized that I hadn’t heard and broke the news to me. Mary lives in Ohio. She used to live in Dayton, and still lives not far from there. I could hear the despair in her voice followed by the bittersweet relief that nobody she knew was among the victims. Incidentally, when I coached hockey our team included players from El Paso. So I too went through that fear of waiting for the list. I would say thankfully none of my former players or their parents were on the list, but that seems like an empty sentiment when people have needlessly and brutally lost their lives.

This isn’t a political blog, at least not in the way that we find ourselves in a political standoff these days. One of the inherent things about shifting from the Story of Separation to the Story of Interbeing is that we have to stop “othering” each other. Because guns are such a loaded issue in this country, I even hesitate to write about it. Yet at the same time I am here to share my experience of how this attempted shift is going for me. And this week that experience happens to have been inundated by this issue, as it has for all of us- again. In order to not “other” each other, we have to be willing to not hold on so tightly to what we think we know. As I worked to process the events- including both how I felt and what I thought- I was cognizant to not just react with what my political position has been on guns. I decided to take a deeper dive into the issue to see where it might lead me.

It ultimately led me to wondering what highly evolved beings would do. What would our position be on guns from within the Story of Interbeing? Fortunately, I knew just where to go to find insight on this question: Conversations With God by Neale Donald Walsch. Book 3 describes the principles that highly evolved beings live by and the choices that they make based on those principles. By the way, I can’t believe that I haven’t mentioned this before, but I am once again reminded that CWG is my all time go-to book. I’ve read the complete volume three times in the last fifteen years. I’ve looked things up countless other times. This was one of those times. Last night I flipped to the index and looked up “guns.” Nothing. Then I looked up “murder.” It listed one page, but said to see “killing.” Killing had quite a few pages listed throughout Books 1-3. So I started reading.

But before I get to what it said, I want to ground this post in my experience. I believe that it is important that we each do this deep internal inquiry, because at the beginning of the day it all starts with our own internal landscape. Each and every last one of us. So I’m going to start by sharing my experience of guns, not my political opinion. I’ll ultimately get to the latter, because we all do ultimately have to choose. We all have to take a position on the matter, because guess what, that’s life. And every choice we make effects every other human (and the rest) on the planet, which means that it is political. Nobody gets to not choose, and therefore nobody gets to be apolitical. Let’s not humor ourselves into thinking otherwise. Yet I think you’ll find in my experience and the inquiry that I describe below a case for your own choice and opinion, wherever you happen to stand on the issue. That said, I humbly request that you continue reading with an open mind.

Now as for my relationship with guns. Quite simply, I choose not to have one to the degree possible. I have never killed anything with a gun. I have never fired a gun. I have never held a gun. I have never so much as touched a gun, nor do I anticipate that I ever will. I don’t want to be anywhere near guns. The reason? Guns create a negative disturbance in my energy field. I’m sensitive. Please do not write me off as a “snowflake.” Sensitivity is something that we are desperately in need of more of, I would say. I am sensitive to things that people who are not so sensitive may not pick up on. Things that we might want to be aware of. I pick up on things that may be floating around in the Field. That is why I learned to hold my energy field so tight to my body. But you know one thing that the mere presence of disturbs me nonetheless? Guns. No thank you.

Mind you, I’m not judging anybody who has a different relationship to guns than I do. I’m simply sharing my experience with you. Some would suggest that if I were a single female living by myself in an urban environment, I would want a gun to protect myself. Well I have been there, done that. And I never opted to have a gun. Others would suggest that if I lived in a remote spot in the country, I would absolutely need a gun to protect myself. Have I mentioned that we own a tiny house on 40 acres in the Green Mountains? The place is completely off-grid with no connection to the outside world- not even cell phone service. We share this place with bears, moose, deer and every other creature that lives in the Green Mountain ecology. You want to know what I don’t share the place with? A gun. I simply will not. I will not, knowing full well that it leaves my life at risk. We therefore walk the forest carefully, but we do it. You know what I am more afraid of than wildlife? Humans. Humans with guns specifically. Some may not be well-meaning and others may be the most responsible gun owners/hunters on the planet. But accidents happen even to the best of us. So to all my hunting friends, please don’t take it personally when I tell you that you are not welcome to hunt on the land that we are stewarding. I don’t want that kind of energy there.

This is not to say that I judge people who hunt. I actually don’t, especially if they only take what they can use/need. I also don’t judge people who choose to own a gun for whatever reason. The reason that I don’t judge is because I understand that the issue is complex. It’s hard. It’s hard because when you delve down to the bottom of the issue you have to face our ideas about the very nature of life itself. So before you go thinking that I think I am better than gun owners, let me clear that up. I kill. As much as I hate to admit that, I do. I’ll forgive myself, though, because I also understand that I am in process. I forgive you too, wherever you stand on this. I, like you, am still living from the Story of Separation, even though I am trying to shift out of it. So while I could never, ever pull the trigger of a gun to kill an animal, you know what I do kill with zero hesitation? Roaches. Yep, I’m not gonna lie. I hate those things. And it shows. WHACK! That’s the sound of my shoe coming down. Actually, it’s usually 3-4 whacks because they are so damn agile that it is difficult to get them on the first try.. if you even do! It’s very un-evolved and unloving of me, I know. But I can’t help it, yet. I really despise them. I’m just not that evolved, yet. See?

But let’s not stop there. We are not having a real conversation about any of this unless we talk about our relationship to food. You may be surprised, based on what I said above, to learn that I am neither vegetarian or vegan. Not yet anyway. I don’t rule it out. But to date that has not been my choice. Let me explain why. In my worldview, everything is sentient. And I do mean everything. That means that plants are every bit as sentient (conscious) as animals. Now what am I to do? If I wanted to eat without killing a sentient being, as far as I can tell I would be limited to dairy products. And of course that would have to come from one happy, free-ranging, organic grass-eating cow who was treated with complete loving kindness and who therefore decided to meet that loving kindness by sharing some of her milk with me. I suppose I could convince myself that fruits and nuts are o.k. too. After all, they are not yet “alive.” They are just seeds. Of course my eating them would prevent them from ever becoming a tree, but not all seeds get to become trees anyway, so maybe I could live with myself. But veggies? Nope. Off limits. Pulling a carrot out of the ground is definitely killing it. I could maybe argue that if I left enough of a plant that it could regenerate itself that that would be o.k. But it’s still an amputation, and that just doesn’t seem loving. Eating meat is obviously also off the list. The only other thing I could do is to just wait for something to die of natural causes before I took it for food.

While this may seem like an exacting exercise to you, I think it is a critical one to go through. If you haven’t had an existential crisis bringing a bite of food (any food) to your mouth, you haven’t really come to terms with your own existence. For me, the bottom line is that we have to eat. That means that no matter what I choose, I have to participate in the killing of a sentient being in order to sustain my life. Death begets life. At least that is the way that it looks from inside the Story of Separation. Incidentally, my choice so far in regard to food is to eat organic, preferably non-GMO, food that has been raised in a conscientious, loving way. I prefer to know the farmers involved. I prefer to know how the animals are treated and how they live. While my meat intake varies, I try to keep it to a minimum and to be honest I am pretty sure my body could live without it. That’s why I don’t rule out giving it up some day. Yet no matter what I choose to eat, I absolutely know that my eating it is the product of myself or somebody else having killed it. That is not something to take lightly, and I don’t.

But what would it look like from inside the Story of Interbeing? In Interbeing there are no separate selves. What that means, quite literally, is that there is nothing that is not me. We are One. So when I kill something to eat it, what I am actually doing is killing myself to sustain myself. Strange, right? By the way, the same would be true if I killed anything for any reason, including those damn roaches- I would only be killing myself. Delving a bit deeper, Interbeing says that consciousness (life) is eternal. That means that sentience (life) cannot actually be killed. It can be removed from whatever form it happens to be inhabiting, but it’s consciousness continues as it is and can elect to inhabit a different form at any time. As far as food is concerned, our understanding shifts from death begets life to life begets life. We are constantly and continuously shape shifting- together. This is a radically different view of reality. Incidentally, if you are trying to rid yourself of something about yourself (as expressed through an “other”) that you really hate, absolutely detest, by killing it…. what this means is that you are plumb out of luck. Read that last sentence again. We are stuck with the level of consciousness that we are at. Not even killing ourselves will get us out of it. Not even rendering ourselves extinct will get us out of it. There is only one way out- evolve.

So this brings me finally to what CWG says highly evolved beings would do in regards to killing:

“No evolved being would attack anyone. The only reason a species under attack would kill another would be that the attacked forgot Who It Really Is. If the first being thought it was its corporeal body- its physical form- then it might kill its attacker, for it would fear the “end of its own life.” If, on the other hand, the first being understood full well that it was not its body, it would never end the corporeal existence of another- for it would never have a reason to. It would simply lay down its own corporeal body and move into the experience of its noncorporeal self.

So what I have said here is that the highly evolve beings of the universe would never “kill” another sentient being in anger. First they would not experience anger. Second, they would not end the corporeal experience of any other being without that being’s permission. And third- to answer specifically your specific inquiry- they would never feel “attacked,” even from outside their own society or species, because to feel “attacked” you have to feel that someone is taking something from you- your life, your loved ones, your freedom, your property, or possessions- something. And a highly evolved being would never experience that, because a highly evolved being would simply give you whatever you thought you needed so badly that you were prepared to take it by force- even if it cost the evolved being its corporeal life- because the evolved being knows she can create everything all over again. She would quite naturally give it all away to a lesser being who did not know this. The highly evolved being understands that she and her attackers are One. She sees the attackers as a wounded part of her Self. Her function in that circumstance is to heal all wounds, so that the All in One can again know itself as it really is. Giving away all that she has would be like giving yourself an aspirin.”

And in regards to food:

“This must be why, even in our own cultures, there are those who would not kill any animal for food or hides without asking the spirit of that being for permission.

Yes. This is the way of your Native Americans, who would not even pick a flower, an herb, or a plant without having this communication. All of your indigenous cultures do the same.”

Before I digest this, let me please encourage you to read CWG in its entirety. You really have to read the whole thing to understand what is being said above and how a Story of Interbeing could ever work. One of the most important concepts is that since life is eternal and death doesn’t really exist, the only thing that really matters about our choices is that they create the reality we experience. That means that if I want to choose the Story of Separation, I am free to do so. It doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. The only valid questions are, “Am I enjoying it?” and “Does it serve what I am wanting to be?” Indeed, I am not overly enjoying reality as we have created it. I think that I would much prefer a more evolved experience of life. What about you? That is why I am working to make choices that would lead to a different experience, whichever one might emerge out of the Story of Interbeing specifically.

As for guns, while CWG doesn’t directly say so, I am pretty sure that highly evolved beings would not have any, or any other weapons invented for killing. Why would they have something that they would never use? And that, my friends, is why I do not own a gun. I would never use it. I would let you have my life. I would let you have my life, because I don’t want to take further part in the creation of a world that I have grown tired of living in. I would much rather demonstrate to you, if I could, your own eternal nature. Of course as mentioned above, I still have a long way to go on this front, but I am in motion.

Now one more thing. We have to get political about this, because the truth is that we are creating our world collectively. So let’s talk gun laws. No, let’s take it deeper and talk laws in general. CWG further says this in response to how highly evolved beings govern themselves:

“When there is only one of You, how do you govern yourself? When you are the only one there is, how do you govern your behavior? Who governs your behavior? Who, outside of yourself?”

What is being said here is that, in fact, highly evolved beings have no government. You read that right. To all of you out there against gun control laws, I am hereby acknowledging what I believe is at the root of your understanding about life. It is true, we should manage ourselves. We should not need a government to do it for us. But here’s the thing- God also makes it clear that only highly evolved beings are able to do this. We, on the other hand, are primitive. Those are God’s words, not mine (although I fully agree). So until we have reached that state of being, what God indicates we should do is to collectively govern ourselves in such a way that enables us to survive long enough that we might evolve to this higher state of consciousness. Again, please read the book for a full clarification. It informs us that we are very much in danger of rendering ourselves extinct, be it by violence, by war, by social unrest, by ecological destruction, by virus mutation, etc. We are on the brink in all cases. That being the case, we need laws that reflect the highest collective wisdom we can muster to keep us alive. We need laws because we are not yet evolved enough to survive ourselves. We need laws, and will continue to need laws, for as long as we continue to operate from the Story of Separation. Non-governance will only work from the Story of Interbeing.

So. Here is what I propose. If you want to get to a state of non-governance (and I am with you), please, please, please take this journey toward Interbeing with me. Take the deep internal dive that it will require to first shift yourself out of Separation. Your doing so will shift the people around you. Second, please join me in the following practice surrounding food. I hereby commit myself to asking prior to every meal and on behalf of all of us: “To all of the sentient beings represented here, may we have your permission to take your life for the sustenance of our collective life.” If you happen to be a hunter, I would ask you to do the same before you pull the trigger. If you happen to be somebody who feels the need to kill another human being, I would ask that you do the same before you pull the trigger as well. We are all in this together. Let’s hope we live long enough to evolve to the full experience of Who We Really Are.