It’s hard when we are younger… anything younger than 50… to imagine actually being 50. And yet, after much anticipation, here I am. I don’t feel a day older than, let’s say, 25. Some would say I don’t look any older than that either, although the wrinkles around my eyes might suggest otherwise. I don’t mind one way or the other. I do appreciate that while I can’t for the life of me see anything up close, I feel the same physically as I did in my youth. I am grateful for that.
Luckily for me (one would never put it this way when one is 16), I have had a bum knee since I was 15 and it is no different today than it was back then. That means that when we traipse all over New York City for three days to celebrate my turning, the dang thing hurts. Yet because it’s nothing even remotely new and I got used to it a long time ago, I don’t in any way associate it with aging. Same thing with the physical challenges that come with PCOS. It’s nothing new. It has ebbed and flowed and manifested differently throughout time, but it just is what it is and I know now that the phase will change. It always does. One of the biggest benefits of age is being able to recognize that nothing lasts forever, just as one of the benefits of being young is believing that it does.
Another benefit of age, and I think particularly for women, is that we finally begin to step out of the bullshit and into our true selves… with authority! That’s good, because as I’ve mentioned before, we need a whole lot of feminine boss energy in the world right now. I got to catch up with four of my best female friends in NYC, all of whom are roughly the same age, and it made me happy to no end to experience the bossed-up women that they have grown into. Need a definition? Here goes from the urban dictionary:
Boss-Up. Take ownership of ones life, by directing the full capacity of their time, resources, and attention toward a specific direction, goal, or intent.
Simply put, each shows up as who she authentically is. Each in her own way is flourishing, guiding, loving, and leading with uncompromised authority… because she’s been there, done that. Chausey, my oldest friend dating back to age 5, is a powerhouse of love and wisdom who is a master at nurturing the little self while reflecting the higher Self back to each and every person she meets. Mary, my best friend and partner in crime from college, is an unwavering creative genius who can’t help but manifest more laughter and love into the world. I perpetually can’t wait to see what she will put out there next. Krista, my best friend from graduate school, is rocking her life as an architect in NYC with no need for apologies or affirmation. She’s got it. Elise, my freshman year roommate in college, continues to live into her sheer genius as a writer of both words and now numbers (coding), all while mentoring youth into their potential. Not only that, but each one is a nurturing matriarch in her own right, be it to her own children, her nephews and nieces, or her aging mother. I’m lucky to have had each one, and so many others, as a friend for such a long time now. It’s my privilege and joy to be a witness to your lives.
That’s what 50 looks like. We laughed, and laughed, and laughed… particularly about our newfound impatience for disrespect and waiting and drama given that we could now keel over at any second! No time for that shit! I’m not so secretly excited to have reached this threshold, because now I can say “Don’t mess with me! I’m fifty!!” Oh and I have been. It makes people stop and actually listen. I’m gonna use this age thing for all it’s worth. Don’t look at me and treat me like some young thing with long, blonde hair. In the first place, I’m probably older than you, and in the second, I’m likely wiser. So move over. The Age of the Woman is here.
Now that we have established that, please allow me to utilize this momentous occasion to share a little feminine wisdom with you. I bring this to you via The Beautiful Project, which we were fortunate enough to see on it’s opening day at the Met. Shannon found out about it and we practically ran across Central Park, bum knee and all, before having to run back across Central Park to meet Elise for dinner… because we had to see this one exhibit. Here is the description of the project:
“At The Beautiful Project we train and support a collective of Black girls and women photographers, writers, scholars and artists in activist image making using photography and writing while centering our own care and advocating for the care of our sisters. Together, we engage our community, providing opportunities for further learning, gathering and sharing.”
It was well worth the run. The images and stories were powerful in and of their own right, but then their creed spoke to me at my very core. I had to take a picture so that I can keep it as a constant reminder. Sisters of all ages and colors, I share this gem with you care of our Black Sisters who are wise and beautiful like no other. I am so grateful to have experienced that wisdom and beauty first hand in my five years at Prairie View A&M. Thank you, Sisters, for the gift that you are to all of us. Power on. It’s your time. May we all follow your lead:
