Visions

Somewhere in the midst of this past week… which was otherwise great… I had one of what I’ll call my inner mental temper tantrums. They don’t happen that often, but boy when they do there is no stopping how quickly it devolves into the complete rejection of this thing called life. I believe it was in no small part caused by my work to open up the wounded parts of myself via the 33 day process. The deepest wounded part in me, the part that is truly not so certain about this life gig- and for good reason- latched onto all of the happenings in the world this past week and just went for an all out rant.

It wasn’t even like it happened at the end of the day. It started in on me the moment that I woke up. The general gist of it was, well, we are all screwed. Of course the rundown of every reason why we are screwed was presented to me in full color: we can’t get along, we can’t even have an open-minded, authentic conversation about the world that we hope for, we don’t even have a vision for the world that we hope for anymore because we are too busy clinging to ideas that somebody else is selling us for reasons that have nothing to do with our own wellbeing, we have therefore sold out our values to the most persuasive bidder to offer us a sense of safety, ultimately resulting in a fear-based vomiting of our shadows and wounds all over the floor. The situation is grim. Are you getting that?

That’s how that particular day started for me. Fortunately, I was able to recognize it for what it was… a fear-based vomiting of my wounds all over the floor. It’s not that I didn’t still carry all of that with me into the day, it’s just that I knew not to let it dominate me. I knew that my day/week would present me with the exact opposite… how incredibly wonderful humanity is. And it delivered. It delivered through my Middlebury students (and my PVAMU students before them) who I have all of the faith in the world in. It delivered through the (women) community organizers of Homes First, who are working on affordable housing solutions for Middlebury not because they need it for themselves, but because they recognize that we are all in this together. It delivered through the youth who travelled cross country last summer to study affordable housing solutions, producing and directing a documentary along the way, and succeeding at delivering a very powerful message to the Middlebury community. It delivered in the community members that showed up to hear that message. And this is just a small sampling.

Today during my 33 day process I went through the list of where I have still been holding on to judgement. The list was long. Yet it all boils down to one underlying judgement: that humanity is less than ideal. I most often express this one as a questioning of God. Is this the best that you could come up with? Really???! I think I’ve shared that before. These days, however, I turn that question inward. Is this the best we can come up with? Because let’s be honest- we are making this all up. We are. So in order to let go of judgement, I fundamentally have to accept that in fact this is the best we can do, at least in this very moment. O.K. I accept. Life is complex, after all. Sorting it out is by no means an easy task. We, myself included, can only move as fast as we are.

Of course life is an eternal paradox. On the one hand our salvation rests in the realization that we, and everything else, is a divine manifestation. On the other hand, we have to reach for our full potential. Complacency will get us nowhere. In fact the status quo is going to land us in extinction. We cannot just accept that this is the way it is. It bears repeating… we are making this all up. We are. That means that we can make something else up. We can make up a world in which we better acknowledge and experience the divine nature of all things, ourselves included, for example. This is within our power. The most important thing any one of us can do is to not give up our power to somebody or something else. We have to dare to vision the world that we want to live in, and work to manifest it day in and day out.

That takes guts in this day and age when it certainly feels like it is all well beyond our control. Some call this radical hope. While I, clearly, can devolve into a radical hopelessness, I continue to choose radical hope. That is to say that I choose to make a promise beyond my current capabilities. That promise can be distilled down to a promise to evolve into a higher state of being, one which will support the world that I crave to live in. That state is one of interbeing. So here’s the rub… to get to that state I have to give up on judgement. This is a tall order for me, as it is for any human who is being honest. In order to get there, I have to start by not judging myself for my own judgement! So I forgive myself for my human proclivity to judge. In doing so, I extend that same forgiveness to others for anything that I have judged them for. That doesn’t mean I won’t continue to slip up, but it does mean that I am committed to getting better.

Now as for us collectively, I would like to extend an invitation. As we are already in the midst of an extremely divisive political climate, I invite everyone to first and foremost stop long enough to vision. Envision the world that you want to live in. Really think about it deeply. See it in your mind’s eye. Work it out in detail. What does it look like? How does it feel? What is life like for everyone and everything? Don’t just resort to some vision that somebody else has given you, no matter who gave it to you- parents, mentor, school, church, Fox News, MSNBC, (yes I just went there), etc. Find your own vision. You have one. It’s in there. Come face to face with it. In the process of doing so, let go of everything that you judge to be wrong with humanity in this moment. It doesn’t matter. We are aiming for a different reality. Let go of all of the reasons why it can never happen. Just allow yourself to rest in your vision. What is it?

Once you find your vision, I invite you to consider this. I would bet my life.. no I am betting my life… that each and every one of our visions- as long as it comes from a place beyond judgement and fear and doubt- will be remarkably similar. That is to say that if you have succeeded in coming up with the grandest vision that you can muster as a human being, there is nobody who would not want that same vision for themselves. Nobody. At the beginning and end of the day, we all want the same things- if we are being honest with ourselves (which admittedly is half the trick). So my invitation is to approach everyone who you encounter, especially those with whom your political views are diametrically opposed, with the knowledge that they are after the same vision.

But don’t take my word for it. If you want to confirm that this is the case, then ask them. Enter into a meaningful, deep, open-minded, open-hearted conversation to find out what that person’s vision for humanity is. Find out for yourself. The only reason that it seems we are diametrically opposed is because we are more focused on the obstacles than we are on the vision. We each see the obstacles based our own path and approach. Therefore we naturally see a different way forward. So it’s not that your view is right and the other’s is wrong or vice versa, it’s that you each hold a different key to achieving the vision. We need both keys. We need all keys. To know this and abide in this is the most radical hope for humanity that we can muster. I dare you to go there with me.